Definition Of Self-Esteem

There is a variety of definitions presented for self-esteem, but I suppose that there can not be only one definition that could fully describe this complex state of human mind. Too many factors determine the self-esteem and the definition of it is very hard to outline.
To understand what self-esteem really is I want to present several basic factors that create ones self-esteem.

Uniqueness. The level one is able to feel the uniqueness has a great impact on self-esteem. If one accepts that he or she is a unique creature one looses the need of comparison to others. If one does not compare he/she can not be frustrated if they do not match the etalons of the society they live in. They can live by their own standards and values. The term uniqueness includes appearance, clothing, talents, style, abilities or maybe disabilities, talking, walking and everything that describes the individuality. If you feel uniqueness you feel free to express yourself, you become interesting to others because of your extraordinarily.

Acceptance. The formers of self-esteem are self-acceptance and social-acceptance. The more is the acceptance the higher self-esteem will one experience. Self acceptance sometimes is even harder to develop because of high levels of self criticism and an influence of past experiences. Self acceptance comes with the belief of ones uniqueness and volubility as an individual no matter what others think. If the person accepts himself as an individual his self-esteem rises. Social acceptance influences ones self-esteem, because human is the social creature and cannot live without other people. The more you are accepted the higher is your self-esteem. Although people who have reached very high levels of self-esteem does not need any ones appreciation, because they have accepted themselves and does not need others acceptance any more.

Worthiness. People with high self-esteem know they are worthy of love, good relationships, good friends, health, money and whatever one can desire. Worthiness is mostly developed during early childhood and is proportional with quantity of parental love and acceptance. If the love of parent to child was unconditional (not connected with what child has done or have not done) the person will experience worthiness in his future. Great impact on the worthiness we have got also during kindergarten and school time while our personal opinion was mostly influenced by the older people and media and friends. Worthiness is the scale of things we can or can not do, worth of, that we accepted as true. It can always be changed.

Competence. Competence not always means confidence and high self-esteem but adds some credits for self-esteem. If you are the professional in the chosen field you feel great internal comfort and balance. If you are intellectually developed and have learned many different skills you feel more confident and safe in life, which absolutely influences your level of self-esteem.

Control. The more you are in control of your life the greater self-esteem you will experience. That does not mean only that you have a lot of money and can influence many events and areas of your life, but it is the internal understanding that you are at the wheel of your destiny. It is the understanding that you are in charge, the law of cause and effect, and that you are the cause.

Those are the main determinants of self-esteem. Every of them can be changed if you set a goal to rise your self-esteem. Now you know what is to be worked on.

[Article Source: http://www.positivearticles.com]

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