Do you shift blame to others?

I received an email from a friend today… New words for 2007.

Blamestorming: Sitting round in a group, discussing why a deadline was missed or a
project failed, and who was responsible.

I like this word, because it struck a nerve. I must add that I am writing this with great difficulty. What I am about to explain to you might be construed out of proportion to what it was meant to be in the first place.

If you look at any newspaper, it is filled with victims. Victims of crime, accidents, HIV… you name it, and you will find it. I read this morning about Morgan Tsvangirai, and most people will say he is a victim of a severe beating this week.

However, Mr. Tsvangirai said in an interview from his hospital bed, that the clashes the past week with riot police made the MDC more resilient and determined to oust Robert Mugabe. This is not a victim. This is a person who took up the responsibility!

This is how I see the irony of being a victim. You can be a victim, feel hopeless, and blame everything on your circumstances. Or, you can be the person who takes up the responsibility to create your own healing and well-being.

Mr. Tsvangirai is one such person. Instead of lamenting how bad he was beaten, and trying to get sympathy from the world, he will rather fight back harder than before.

The same applies to any other type of victim. And this is where I am going to get a lot of opposition. If you were abused as a child you have two choices. One, you let it haunt you for the rest of your life, and be the victim. Or, you can take it, accept what happened, and be responsible for your own healing. I am however not saying you are responsible for the abuse!

I mentioned blamestorming for a reason. We are so eager to blame everything around us for our current circumstances. It’s the government’s fault, it is my boss’s fault, it is my spouse’s fault…

I have three words for it… GET OVER IT!

Blaming others for your circumstances will not change it. You have to change it! And I don’t mean that half-hearted efforts we put it just to appease our conscious. I am talking real effort hear…

So when you want to blame others for your circumstances, think twice about it. What can you do different today to change it?

You can be a victim, feel hopeless, and blame everything on your circumstances. Blaming others for your circumstances will not change it.

This article was written by Jaco de Villiers. Please feel free to contact me via email jaco@rake.co.za or visit my blog http://www.jacodevilliers.weebly.com I would like to hear from you. When you use this article, please give me the rightful credit, with my contact details.

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