Giving: Your Four Gifts

“You make a living by what you get. You make a life by what you give.” Winston Churchill wrote these words to express the idea, that to a certain extent, giving defines who we are as individuals.

Let me share four of my insights with you about how you could make this month even better. In order to create a better, more positive world that you live in, you must give of yourself.

1. Giving of your time:
Your time on this Earth is finite or limited; therefore, one of your greatest gifts to someone is spending quality time helping him or her to reach their full potential as human beings. Spending quality time with someone means that you need to focus on using effective communication, which can be broken down into two parts: the first is being a sympathetic listener.

First of all, you need to listen with your eyes, which means that you will need to maintain eye contact with that person when he or she is speaking. Second, you need to listen with your body. Observe your body language. Are you engaged in other distracting activities? Are you square to the person? Are you sitting up and leaning forward slightly to show that you value what that person has to say? Use facial expressions and body language to express interest and comprehension. Third, listen without your mouth. In other words, avoid the temptation to interrupt while listening. Allow that individual time to express his or her thoughts, concerns, fears and insights. Avoid erecting barriers that get in the way of you hearing what is being said.

The second part of effective communication is knowing how to actively engage someone in conversation. At all times you should communicate with others using kind words spoken with an appropriate tone of voice. Sometimes our words are saying one thing, yet our tone of voice and posture indicates the contrary. You should be constantly affirming words of appreciation to others.

Get into the habit of using words of affirmation; words that inspire courage in others, just as a coach inspires his or her team. Coaches motivate their athletes towards taking positive action. A common example is the expression: “I know you will succeed because…”

Use words of praise; words that make a positive assertion or statement that will build someone up. As you may already know, positive reinforcement builds individuals up rather than tearing them down. Praise also helps to raise one’s self-esteem and self-worth. A couple of common examples are: “You did a great job.” or “Super job! Keep it up.”

Also get into the habit of using words of appreciation; words that express sincere gratitude for someone who has done you a service or an act of kindness. Two simple, yet effective statements are: “I appreciate it when…” or “Thank you for…”

Make a point of practicing and using these or similar expressions on a regular basis. Show recognition and appreciation and give praise. Catch someone doing something well and then pass on a few words of encouragement. Set a goal of giving a positive verbal affirmation to someone once a day over the month.

2. Giving of your energy:
How you manage your energy affects your performance. It comes down to a question of choice. Some choices energize us, while others create barriers. We all have certain barriers that get in the way of harnessing our full energy potential and of using the energy available for improving the quality of life for others. Some of those common barriers are found in being pessimistic, impatient, inflexible or critical.

You need to consciously make that shift of your energy from negative to positive and from self to others. Should you find yourself dwelling on the negative dismiss those energy-draining thoughts by using the following positive self talk statement: “Positive thoughts bring me the benefits and outcomes that I desire.” Once you are pumped up with positive energy, let it infuse into others and lift up their spirits this month.

3. Giving of your talents and spiritual gifts
We all have special talents or gifts that we can share with others such as being an active learner, being careful and deliberate, being flexible, or meeting and getting to know new people. Discovering what those natural endowments or innate abilities that people say you excel in is an on-going process.

During this month try to identify two or three things that you could do in your immediate work environment that would give more of yourself to helping your colleagues reach their full potential. Is it your positive attitude and happy disposition? your innate ability to organize things? or possibly your love of solving problems? What better gift than to make a difference in other people’s lives.

4. Giving of your material resources
You will notice that I am mentioning giving of your material resources last. In my opinion, this is the least important form of giving of the four mentioned. Why do I say so? Although giving a portion of your financial blessings to help those less fortunate than you is also a true measure of your success as a human being, it really boils down to how you have added value to other people’s lives and not what you have done. In other words, it is the process of helping other’s reach their full potential, rather than the end result that truly defines us as successful individuals.

Be resolved to make a positive difference in the lives of those that you touch. When you strive to reach a point of harmony and balance between all four areas of giving, you are in a better position to impact other people’s lives.

Randall Stewart has been involved in success training and personal coaching for the past twenty-five years and is the author of “Success is a Four-Letter Word: Learn How to Bring More Abundance & Prosperity into Your Life”. He has taught in the corporate, university and public school sectors across Canada. To find out more about Randall’s self improvement courses or to subscribe to his free newsletter, go to http://www.SuccessorizeYourself.com. Please feel free to send this article to others.

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