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Saying something that matters

By: Jaco de Villiers

At the moment I am busy with a gem of a book… ‘The rules of life’ by Richard Templar.

I will recommend it to anyone (and no I am not getting a commission on the sales). It is a good book, although I don’t agree with some of the statements. I read a chapter titled ‘If you can’t say anything nice, don’t say anything at all’.

And it made me think of the very first article I wrote on my site. I mentioned that we are eager to complain and moan. Yet, I didn’t give any possible reasons for our constant moaning. I am going to stretch the theory a bit… it is called automatic vigilance.

Automatic vigilance is defined as the strong tendency to pay attention to undesirable or negative information. Apparently we are more inclined to notice the negative than positive. According to the textbooks, automatic vigilance is a method of protecting yourself from possible danger. If I describe a friend of mine to you, by naming 20 favourable traits, and one negative one, you are bound to remember the negative one.

So as you might guess, that puts us in a bit of a tight spot. How are we, me and you, supposed to see life in a positive light and not just focus on all the negative stuff?

Even worse, how are you supposed to say something nice about someone if you only remember the not-too-favourable traits?

And the answer is…. Tada! You make the decisions!

If you want to bicker about how bad your job is, or bitch about what a twit your boss is… go ahead. However, you can make the effort… what do you actually like about your job? Did your boss (or fellow employee) not tell you that you look nice today?

I have two challenges for you this week:

1. Look around you and notice the good and beautiful things around you. Forget about the negative stuff.
2. If you can’t say something nice, then don’t say anything!

I am very confident in this challenge. I can assure you that by the end of the week, you will feel more refreshed and alive than what you started it with. And only because you chose to shed the bad stuff, and say nice things about people.

O yes, and before I forget, please give me some feedback at the end of the week. I want to know how the challenge went.

Automatic vigilance is defined as the strong tendency to pay attention to undesirable or negative information. Apparently we are more inclined to notice the negative than positive. If I describe a friend of mine to you, by naming 20 favourable traits, and one negative one, you are bound to remember the negative one.

This article was written by Jaco de Villiers. Please feel free to contact me via email jaco@rake.co.za or visit my blog www.jacodevilliers.blogspot.com I would like to hear from you. When you use this article, please give me the rightful credit, with my contact details.

Article Source: http://www.positivearticles.com. PositiveArticles.Com does not vouch for or necessarily endorse the contents of this article.


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