Self-Improvement - There Is A Secret Formula That Guarantees Success

For most people, the highway to personal change and self-improvement is a long and winding highway filled with complicated barriers. Pharmaceutical companies in particular have capitalized on and created immense fortunes based on the elusive search for the "Magic Pill" that will cure all ills. As it turns out, there is a secret formula for success, and it begins in the unconscious mind.

One of the laws of NLP (Neuro-Linguistic Programming) is that "there is a positive intention behind all behaviors." And based on that presupposition, when it comes to eliminating negative behaviors, there is a formula that we should always keep in mind. I'll let you in on the secret formula in a minute. But I have a riddle for you to solve first.

Riddle: A holy man made his child drink lye, which burned out the child's voice box. What was the positive intention behind his behavior?

If you are like almost all of the clients who have visited my office since 1978, you'll angrily say something like: "There isn't any positive intent behind that behavior." But you would be 100% incorrect. To answer this riddle, first you have to disconnect the behavior from the positive objective of the deed.

The minister's child was cursing. And the minister believes that if a person curses, his soul will be condemned to Hell. So the answer is that the minister was burning out his child's voice box so that he couldn't curse. By doing so, he was saving his child's soul from being predestined to Hell.

The secret formula for successful change works as follows:

We should always value the positive intent behind each behavior. If we have an impulse to apply a behavior that we do not appreciate, we can easily get rid of the impulse to use that behavior. All we need to do is to find another behavior and substitute it in its place. To be successful, the new conduct must be as available and efficient at accomplishing the same outcome, but be more consciously acceptable to you. This is called a REFRAME.

When clients come into my office, one of the first things that I do is to take a methodical case history. In this example, let's say that they come to my office and ask me to help them eliminate their weight problem. Experience tells us that the two main reasons that anyone eats excessively are: (1) to reduce stress; (2) because eating can be a conditioned response. For instance, if a person eats while they are watching TV, they will develop a conditioned response, and thereafter, every time they sit down to watch TV, they'll get cravings and an urge to eat.

However, the above answer only takes into consideration the possible secondary gain received from the behavior of eating. What if they also have another behavior that is concerned in the equation? For example: What if being tubby is also a behavior for this person? I can hear your mind working away right now as you think, "Being heavy isn't a behavior, what are you talking about?"

Sorry but you could be completely wrong. Here is one classic textbook example that will demonstrate the fact that being heavy can be a behavior. It can be a behavior because it can supply secondary gains.

Example: A woman falls in love. Her partner leaves her, and breaks her heart. Her unconscious mind wants to protect her emotionally and stop her from ever having her heart broken again. So it motivates her to get heavy to keep her out of relationships. By doing that she will not get her heart broken again.

Everyone is totally different. And sometimes there are hidden elements at work that cause compulsive behaviors. These are elements that are different for each person.

Here is another instance: A woman comes to my office complaining of an unmanageable compulsion to eat too much at mealtime. During the case history, the woman explains to me how she has never been able to please her dad.

We did an age regression, and one of her earliest memories was of eating dinner with the family. And her dad was insisting in an authoritive voice that she finish all of the food on her plate, even though she was bursting at the seams. So she ate the food left on her plate out of fear, and her father praised her for eating all of the food. It was one of the only times in her life that she could recall her dad telling her that she had made him happy.

Jump forward to the present. Dad has been deceased for years, but the unconscious program he installed is still working. She still has a powerful urge to clean her plate, even if she is feeling bloated, because by cleaning the plate, in her subconscious she is getting her dad's approval, and eliminating her own fear!

So if you are having a problem making personal changes, please remember that there is a positive intention that causes all behaviors. And the secret formula for successful change is to use a different behavior that will achieve the same positive intention, but in a mode that is more consciously suitable to you, as an individual. The most efficient way to get your unconscious mind to assume the responsibility for making this kind of alteration for you is through an NLP 6-Step Reframe.

The general public has always looked for the fastest way to make personal changes, and the drug companies have amassed huge fortunes because of it. But the real "Magic Pill" that enables effortless change has always been hidden within the unconscious mind, which can be accessed through hypnosis.

Alan B. Densky, CH is an NLP Practitioner. He began his practice of NLP & hypnosis in 1978. He offers an interactive NLP Six-Step Reframing CD on his Neuro-VISION Self Hypnosis site. Also available are his Free NLP research library, NLP & hypnosis newsletters and MP3 downloads.

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