Taking a Stand for Yourself

Readers, we have only one life to live that given by our loving God. Are we living it with self-respect, with purpose, with a strategy for continued growth?

When we are born each of us is given a white piece of blank paper to write down whatever that we want. Some write only a little, some write a lot but some just allow others to write for them. Whose fault is it?

Sheep, for self-preservation, always remain with their herd. Why do so many of us act as if we were sheep? Why do we abandon the management of our lives to others while we stumble forlornly through each day waiting only for the next command to jump or perform for our breakfast?

Nena and George O’Neil reminds us that “If we do not rise to the challenge of our unique capacity to shape our own lives, to seek the kinds of growth that we find individually fulfilling, then we can have no security: we will live in a world of sham, in which our selves are determined by the will of others, in which we will be constantly buffeted and increasingly insolated by the changes around us. Without choice we can have no direction; without a life strategy that is our own we lose our sense of self and become a cipher, a nothing.”

And Og Mandino one of the best self-improvement authors that I admired most added, “Whenever we allow others to control our lives we place our future in their hands, we abdicate our right to make choices beneficial to us, and we stifle all opportunity for growth. With no goals, no priorities, no life strategy of our own, we drift with the herd through an endless meadow of mediocrity, unable to break loose, to achieve even a small part of the dreams we once cherished.”

Taking a stand in life, a stand for yourself, is integral to shifting gears, to growing through self-directed change. Nena and George O’Neil gave seven keys to creative self-management that can help you to develop a stand in life:

1. Don’t ask permission. Do it.
2. Don’t report. Check things out with yourself, not others.
3. Don’t apologize unnecessarily. This is telling others you are a self-diminisher.
4. Don’t recriminate yourself. The missed-opportunity syndrome keeps you from moving forward.

5. Don’t say “I should” or “I shouldn’t.” Ask “Why?” or “Why not?”

6. Don’t be afraid to say no or yes.Act on what you think and feel.

7. Don’t put yourself completely in the hands of another. Be a self-determiner.

Nena and George explained, “Each of these keys is a negative because it is necessary to counteract our too frequent capitulation to cultural and social dicta that insist upon our conformity, that tells us security lies in being like other people instead of fulfilling our individual needs through continuing growth. But this negative cast doesn’t mean that we must forsake others or fail to take others into account.”

They further explained, “The truth is that we can have understanding and consideration for others only to the extent that we ourselves are strong. If we are ciphers, ruled by others, then we have nothing to give others. It is only when we begin to manage our own change that we can truly give ourselves in a caring and sharing way, we give to another or to a project or situation out of our feelings of independence, self-reliance, and security, not out of self-diminishment and weakness. A corollary to these key is: be kind to yourself. Few of us can reach a compassionate kindness for others unless we can be kind to our selves first.”

I encouraged you that love yourself first before you say “I love you” and serve other people. Do not let others rule over you! Remember, our Loving God given us the mind, the two eyes, the two hands, and two feet to use for our self-growth and improvement. So use it…don’t allow others to control your destiny and ambition in life!

I encouraged you, Just Build a Better You! Be a productive individual, becoming a source of encouragement and a source of inspiration to other people!

Before I conclude my message, I would like to request you to read and think of this carefully:
John Maxwell my favorite authors in leadership and self-improvement books, which writings changed and improved my life to becoming a productive individual reminds you that “The only person who can stop you from becoming what God intends you to become is you!"

Wish you many blessings to come and God Bless!

Moises Padin Reconalla

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About the Author Moises Padin Reconalla is an alumnus of Adventist UNiversity of the Philippines. And a graduate student of Manila Theological College. Worked as a Guidance Counselor and College Instructor at North Davao Colleges, Panabo City, Philippines. You can send your comments about this article through his email wisdomisgreat@gmail.com All rights reserved. Copyright September 2006 by Moises Padin Reconalla

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