The Cause of Suffering

The egoic mind is the cause of suffering. Nothing more. Suffering only happens in response to a thought. We suffer because we think something about what is happening, what happened, or what might happen. We create a story about what is, what was, or what will be; then we suffer over it. We particularly suffer over fears, which are negative ideas about the future, although any idea can cause suffering if it is believed.

Even positive ideas can cause suffering. Something as simple as, “I’m doing great” can cause suffering because there will come a time when the mind will declare, “I’m not doing great.” Every positive thought has as much potential for suffering as a negative one because it carries with it the fear of losing what is desired. In either case, whether we are thinking a positive or negative thought, we have thought the egoic self into existence. The mind creates the me through thought.

Before thought, there was no egoic self, only the Self. This birth of the me is the cause of suffering. The two go hand in hand. The me and its story is about separation, and separation is painful. Anytime the focus is on the me, we suffer, whether the me is being painted positively or negatively.

We suffer not only because we make ourselves separate from others but because we make ourselves separate from the Self. However, this suffering is not a mistake; it is part of the Self’s plan too. Suffering is what wakes us up out of the egoic state of consciousness. It is not only grist for the egoic self’s mill but a prod to awaken us to our true nature. Suffering is not a mistake.

Suffering is the result of our programming. We are programmed with a mind that generates thoughts (including the me thought), which cause suffering. However, we are also given a way out of suffering. Life is like a puzzle: We are being asked to find the solution to suffering. We look here and we look there for the way out: Is eating the way out? Is being busy the way out? Is having more money the way out? Is being famous the way out? Is having the right relationship the way out? No, no, no, no, and no. We eventually discover that none of these are the way out. Then what is?

After looking in all these directions and more, we begin looking into philosophies and teachings that might have the answer. Is psychotherapy the way out? Is meditation the way out? Is a vegan diet the way out? Is yoga the way out? Are affirmations the way out? No, no, no, no, and no.

When we are ready, a teacher appears who has found the way out. “You don’t exist,” the teacher says. “If that’s the truth, I don’t want to hear it,” we say. And we go back to looking somewhere else. Finally, we run into the Truth enough times that it can’t be denied.

What a shock. What a blow. No me. What now? How will life be lived? You don’t know. You drop all pretense of knowing and just let yourself not know. Not knowing is the natural state. However, this not-knowing is not a place of never knowing. Knowing happens; it just doesn’t happen ahead of time but in each moment. It unfolds from one moment to the next. Who knows about the next moment? We only know about this one. This is how life is lived without the me. Very well thank you.

Using the Mind to Unravel the Mind

To get to this point, we have to become aware of our mind, what it is thinking, and how true those thoughts are. The good news is that we don’t have to do anything to develop this awareness. We have always been aware of our mind or we wouldn’t be able to recount what is in it or think about our thoughts. Something else is present besides the mind that has always been aware of it and everything else occurring in this sensory mechanism we call our body. This awareness, this observer, this watcher, is you—the real you.

Exercise: Noticing the Real You: Who or what is it that is aware of reading these words? Notice this awareness. How do you experience it? What does it feel like? Where do you experience it? Is it contained anywhere? Just stay with the experience of it for a moment. This is who you are. The experience of this is available in every moment. All you have to do is give your attention to the real you rather than to the mind.

The egoic mind projects another you—the thinker of the thoughts. This is the ego, the you that you think you are: the you that has a name and looks a certain way and is a father/mother, sister/brother, etc. (fill in the blanks with all the things you call yourself). That you is the one that does not exist. Instead, you are the awareness of the person you think you are.

Once you see this, you have to wonder why it took so long. Programming. That’s all. We don’t see this because we are programmed to think of ourselves the way we do. There is no getting around our programming except by seeing that it is not the whole truth about who we are. We are programmed to believe an illusion. Once we see this, the game is over, at least the way we have been playing it. We may still do some of the same things we did, but the game is never the same. The jig is up, as they say. The bell can’t be un-rung, and we can’t go back to believing a lie.

But we may try. Our programming still has some pull. It can pull us in for a while, but not for long before we catch ourselves laughing for taking the me so seriously. We may find the ego endearing and silly, but we can’t buy into its perspective any longer. Most of what the mind says just doesn’t seem true anymore.

What an amazing discovery! What a relief to discover that we are not this individual who suffers and struggles so. We can finally give up the effort to be somebody special, to know things, to be right, and to get it right. We were never satisfied with ourselves or others, no matter what we did or what they did. It was a no-win game. What a relief to give up the effort to be better, do better, and get more.

How did we miss the fact that everything we ever wanted has been here all along? The peace, happiness, and joy we have been searching for, competing for, have been here all along in the space between our thoughts. We are this peace, happiness, and joy. We missed it because it is who we are. It is too close for us to see, like an eye that can’t see itself. It is so ever-present that, like water to a fish, it is taken for granted and not questioned. Like the air we breathe, it is invisible and without dimension, and the egoic mind doesn’t pay attention to such things. It has eyes only for the tangibles in life.

Besides, the egoic mind has been very busy creating a life, a story, by manifesting problems and then trying to solve them. It has been too busy to ask questions. It thinks a thought and then does something about it. That is what life has been about. But once we begin questioning the egoic mind, the illusion begins to unravel.

When the time comes to awaken, the Self puts thoughts into the mind that question the validity of our other thoughts. The Self also draws others to us who realize the Truth and have seen through the mind. Questions about the nature and purpose of life also begin to arise in the mind.

Until then, the tendency is to respect and adhere to whatever goes through the mind. Like someone lost in the ocean who has just been thrown a life preserver, we cling to each thought for dear life. After all, without our thoughts telling us who we are, who would we be? We don’t think that being no-thing is an option. To the egoic mind, being no-thing is the same as not existing. The ego would rather be anyone—even an unhappy someone—than not exist at all. This domination of the egoic mind is called identification, and that is the cause of suffering.

Freedom from Suffering

When we are not identified with the egoic mind but with the whole truth of who we are—the Self—there is no suffering. Once we realize the Self, we are still driven to do things, but the Self moves us effortlessly toward its goals. There is no suffering because we no longer spin stories about whatever is happening. Suffering doesn’t come so much from following our desires and drives as from the stories we spin about that: “It’s not good enough,” “I’m not good enough,” “life isn’t good enough,” and on and on.

In the egoic state of consciousness, every thought, feeling, and action is seen as either good or bad; and this evaluation is felt to be true. The story told is never the whole truth, but it is assumed to be. We are forever spinning stories about ourselves and others and about the past and future. These cause us great suffering because they are not true, or at least not the whole truth. We create an imaginary reality with these stories, and then we live in it.

Meanwhile, the Self allows whatever reality the egoic self is creating. It is perfectly willing to have whatever experience we choose. It enjoys learning from it all. It is fascinated to see how the story will play itself out. After all, that is why it created these forms in the first place: It wants to see how each individual with its unique personality and set of drives will live out its drama in the world. How will it interact? What conclusions will it draw? How will it see life? What will it choose? The Self is enthralled with its creation and joyously anticipates its every move.

When we awaken and our identity shifts from the ego to the Self, we feel this joy and the love the Self has for itself in all its many forms. When we are no longer identified with the egoic mind, any judgments, evaluations, stories, or points of view that still arise in the mind are seen for what they are, and they stop shaping our reality. As the Self, our reality is our true nature, which is love, acceptance, joy, and boundless happiness.

How Desires Cause Suffering

Desires do not cause suffering. Desires come and go. They arise in the mind and then disappear. If that were all that happened, there would be no suffering. However, something else happens: attachment. Attachment happens as a result of a story we tell ourselves about a desire: “I will be happy when….” Desire is a drive, an impulse, which comes and goes; attachment gives that impulse fuel and makes it burn: “I want this because….” Thus, the story is born. The general story is that fulfilling our desires will make us happy and not doing that will make us unhappy.

This becomes the prescription for happiness. The trouble is that the drug being prescribed is addictive and has little lasting effect. All we are left with is more craving. The more we pursue egoic desires, the emptier we feel and the more we think we need to fill that hole. All we really want is happiness, but we look for it in all the wrong places. We look for it in the fulfillment of our desires, but that only leaves us wanting more.

We become addicted to wanting and never question its value. We are so sure that something is going to satisfy us sometime, even if it hasn’t yet: “The next million dollars will do it.” Like a heroin addict, what we really want is our craving to end. We want an end to all this wanting and never feeling satisfied, but that will never happen by continuing to pursue our desires. It can take lifetimes of seeking pleasures, money, fame, love, beauty, success, perfection, and ideals before we are exhausted and see this.

The suffering from this endless seeking and never getting enough is what eventually wakes us up from the Illusion, which so often feels like a nightmare. Thus, desires play two roles in the illusion: Following them creates the illusion (the story) through which the ego learns and evolves, and disillusionment with them dissolves the illusion.

Exercise: Examining Your Desires: What is something you desire right now? What is it you are telling yourself about this desire, that is, what do you believe fulfilling it will do for you? Is it possible that you already have that right now even without fulfilling your desire? You can still pursue this desire, but if you are clear that it doesn’t have the ability to give you what you really want, you won’t suffer if it doesn’t get fulfilled. We give our desires so much power: We believe that fulfilling them will make us happy, but that is not the source of true happiness.

When we finally see the truth about our desires, we surrender. At first, this may feel more like giving up after being defeated. Eventually, this surrender is experienced more like a dropping into the moment, into the Real. When we finally give up on our desires, we send our mind into retirement. What else does it have to do if we are not listening to its prescription for happiness?

When the mind is quiet, something else can come forward with its agenda. It doesn’t speak to us like the mind does, though. It may not speak at all, but we feel it. We feel moved to do this and do that. We may not even know why, but we don’t care. It feels so right that we don’t need a reason. The rightness is reason enough. This feeling is so simple, so clear, so unobstructed by thoughts, so free. All of the identity that is usually attached to taking some action is absent. Before, when we did something, we imagined how others might react and what that might mean for our self-image. Now, we are not spending time thinking about me. We are not spending time thinking at all. Our actions are no longer centered on building an image that will keep us safe in the world.

As the Self, we are safety, we are peace, we are happiness, we are love—we are everything. We don’t need to become anything because we already are everything. What a relief! At last we can just be. That is all we ever really wanted anyway. All of the struggle and effort was just an attempt to be okay enough so that we could just be. We had to find out for ourselves that the struggle and effort were never necessary. Like Dorothy and her cohorts in The Wizard of Oz, we had what we needed all along! It was always possible to just be.

Explains the true cause of suffering. Suffering only happens in response to a thought.

Gina Lake has a Masters degree in Counseling Psychology and over twenty years experience as an astrologer and a channel. She is the author of several books, including Radical Happiness and Return to Essence. Gina is available for astrological and channeled phone consultations that support awakening and living a conscious life. For more info, to order her books, to read excerpts, or to download the free e-book: Radiance: Experiencing Divine Presence, please visit http://www.radicalhappiness.com.

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