Working together - Team Work as a Parenting Skill

Kids learn from example; and if you can involve your children in the household activities, you gain on several counts: they share your burden of work; they get your time and attention; and they learn to work as a team. The best parenting advice is to work together in raising your children and establishing child discipline. Children are children; and whether they are your own or your spouse’s kids from a previous relationship, it is the duty of the two people who make up their parents to work together to form their children's discipline plan.

Children are experts in parent playing; they know how to get their way, if not from parent, they will go to the other parent. This often leads to misunderstanding between the parents and children use this situation to their own advantage.

The solution is simple. Parents need to work as a team; they should discuss matters openly and come to an agreement. Once they agree upon an action plan, they must stick to it and under all circumstances support each other, at least in the presence of the children.

You can divide the activities between you; that is the most practical and effective team work. After all, you can’t agree on everything, but if you divide the areas of activity, each has the freedom to carry it out to the best of their ability. For example, one parent can handle outdoor activities while the other handles indoor activities..

Remember, children should see their parents as one unit working together in harmony. They must know that they have to seek the approval of both parents in each situation. This arrangement works very well where both parents are available.

No matter which method you decide to use for making decisions, all parents need to agree on the rules and steps to follow. Once you've decided, then go to your children and explain the situation.

Your children must have the perception that you work together as a team. It will help the older children to understand the situation and it will deter them from future parent playing. It works for smaller children just as well too, because establishing this routine will prevent parent playing from occurring.

Apart from establishing child behavior, parents need to work together to take crucial decisions like schooling and education of the children, faith and religion that they will follow and other important matters. Both parents should be in agreement about how to bring up their children. However, agreeing to disagree is also a part of team work, as long as parents can be cordial and pleasant about it. The important thing is that children should feel that parents work as a team. You can iron out your differences alone but must present a picture of working together to the children.

Dr. Noel Swanson is a frequent contributor to Yes Parenting website and also has a free newsletter on children's behavior problems.
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