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You, Your Child and His Homework

By: Dr. Noel Swanson

Most children hate doing homework; it restricts their freedom to play and is a grim reminder of school. They wonder why school has to continue at home also. So, it is quite normal for children to put up some kind of a fuss, which could be gentle grumbling or outright refusal.

While parents and teachers have learnt their lessons and can see the long-term benefits of studying, the children have yet to acquire such wisdom. Right now they think it is a pointless hassle that deprives them of doing fun things. Moreover, the child who finds the work hard finds the whole exercise even more demoralizing and discouraging. Under these circumstances, who would want to do homework?

So, you will have to do some homework on your part before you can get your child to do the classwork at home. You need to present it in such an interesting manner that it transforms the child’s way of thinking and outbalances all the negatives. However, don’t expect your child to be enthusiastic about it, but at least bring him to a point when he accepts the necessary evil and thinks it is better to get it done and be finished with it than to go on lingering on the unsavory prospect of it.

Here are some suggestions to make homework slightly more interesting:

1. Homework is not something your child loves doing. You need to inspire him to do it. So, shouting and screaming and losing your temper is not going to help. Try and create an atmosphere where your child is encouraged to study. Make it sound interesting by innovative ways. Turn it into a sort of game or at least create the perception that it is fun, so that your child gets involved in it.

2. Keep in touch with the school to find out how much homework is expected to be done and how long it should take. If your child takes more time or if the grades are consistently very poor, you should speak with the school. There may be some learning or attention difficulties that need to be addressed. That may be the underlying cause of not wanting to do homework. If your child finds the homework difficult to do on his own, you need to identify the problem and address it. You may want to speak to the teacher and ask if it is okay that your child spends a fixed amount of time on study even if he is not able to complete the given assignment. Some children are slow in writing, but that should not demoralize them.

3. Create a place that is conducive to working. It is hard to get homework done if you have to do it on your lap while everyone else is watching TV. Maybe have a rule about no TV until everyone's homework is done. Make a cleared space on the kitchen table, or a table or desk in her bedroom, that is clear from distractions and interruptions. Ideally set up an area that is exclusive to your child.

4. Your child will need some help and support. But, don't start doing the homework. Help by way of getting him started, or to find the books or websites that will help. Teach them to find the relevant material. You can help him with spellings or work through a math problem with him. Most importantly, stay calm! You may find the problem simple but it may not be so simple for your child. Give him time to learn things.

5. Be generous in appreciating every single achievement no matter how small it is. First focus on getting the homework done, then start to focus on quality. Let that be the teacher’s responsibility; you remain confined to the homework only. Your efforts should be directed towards inculcating diligence and persistence. However, you can ask your child to read his work out loud so as to catch obvious mistakes and correct them.

6. You can encourage your child to do his homework by rewarding extra privileges, such as TV, or family treats or activities. Again, you should start with rewarding the regular completion of work, and then go on to rewarding higher grades. For this, you can set up a regular schedule.

7. If there is a specific subject that is causing problems, do something about it. See the teacher and try to find a way to turn this into a successful experience for your child.

8. For long-term projects, help your child to break it down into do-able chunks for which you can set realistic goals and deadlines. Teach your child how to organize and plan ahead so that things are not left until the last minute.

9. If you have a busy routine and you cannot spare that much time for your child’s homework, look for some sort of a homework club. Many schools offer a facility for supervised homework. Most children prefer doing their homework in the company of their friends and under the guidance of the teacher. After all, they are the only ones put through this at home while the others seem to be enjoying other activities.

10. Finally, it is important to give the taste of success to your child. Failure is extremely discouraging and de-motivating. Success has its own charm; it is self-motivating and encourages more attempts. Once you achieve that, you will never have to bother about your child’s homework again.

Most children hate doing homework; it restricts their freedom to play and is a grim reminder of school. They wonder why school has to continue at home also. So, it is quite normal for children to put up some kind of a fuss, which could be gentle grumbling or outright refusal.

Dr. Noel Swanson is a leading expert on child behavior problems. He has a fascinating website with lots of expert parenting advice that is worth visiting. More of his articles can be found here: free articles on parenting
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