Articles Category: Humor - Self Improvement Articles from PositiveArticles.Com

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Cupid Quotient By : Deanna Mascle Twelve multiple choice trivia questions about Valentine holiday history and tradition A Deep Look At Soap Operas By : Randall Ulbricht You have got to love soap operas. From the intricate plots and finely woven webs of deceit, to the depths of schemes, they were, are and always will be classics. They are timeless. I wrote this article as my take on them back in 1970 when filling white space for our high school paper. Watch a few soap operas for the next few days and see for yourself how closely they resemble the soap operas of 36 years ago... And now for that thought provoking question that plagues men’s ... Happy Groundhog Day By : Jeanie Marshall This article is about a celebration that has taken place each February 2 in Pennsylvania, USA, since 1886, Groundhog Day and a recommendation for a film of the same name. Stand up comedian or bubble blower? By : Matt Canham Learning to swim is like learning stand up comedy. This article will have you blowing comedy bubbles in no time. I'll Get Up In Just A Minute By : R. Vener Are you one of those people who wake up in the morning, fully refreshed and singing with happiness at the start of a bright new day? Well, most of us aren't. And frankly, we'd rather those of you who are would knock off the racket. We're trying to get a little last minute sleep before staggering off to get our morning coffee. Those final minutes in bed are golden. You know the ones I mean, the last precious moments, still snug and warm under the covers, fully awake a... It’s No Joke, Laughter Is Awesome Medicine! By : Chad Ferguson You go right ahead! Laugh and cackle to the point of losing your breath! Laughter has enormous amounts of health benefits ranging from affecting diabetes to lowering risks of heart attacks and everything in between! In this modern world that we live in, full of medicinal remedies and medical breakthroughs, who would ever dream that something as simple as laughter could induce such amazing benefits to your health that could rival highly scientific compounds found in drugs o... Montana People: Weird In Their Own Special Way By : Jenny Harker We have all heard tales of strange people living in Montana; the Unabomber, the freedom militias, the poor sods stuck in the Federal Witness Protection Program. I assure you the majority of people living in Montana are friendly, polite, are reasonably sane, and will go out of their way to lend a hand to strangers. Now, I am a cynical Californian transplanted in Montana. I cannot help but feel suspicious of helpful strangers. Oh, the clerk wants to volunteer the use o... Conversation In An Age Of Confusion By : Tom AtteaNewsLaugh.com What do people talk about when they all believe different things and nobody is sure what the other person believes? Then you add to that the usual courtesy that most people don’t want to offend other people, especially when it comes to the topics people disagree about with the most intensity, such as politics and religion, which all but the most foolhardy consider way off limits, at least, in what is referred to as polite conversation. Actually, the silence of the times... Rumsfeld Appoints Self Retired General; Rushes To Own Defense By : Tom AtteaNewsLaugh.com Donald Rumsfeld, under fire from a platoon of retired generals who have called for his resignation, went on the offensive by appointing himself a retired general. Accompanied by a currently employed general, who, as the head of The Joint Chiefs Of Staff, is his usual sidekick, he stated, “As The Secretary of Defense, I think I should at least be on an equal footing with a retired general, and, after careful consideration, I decided to become one.” A reporter then asked,... The Headless Horseman Of Mass Media: Information Everywhere, Philosophy Nowhere By : Tom AtteaNewsLaugh.com Did you ever notice that we’re surrounded by information but hardly ever come across an idea in the media that might help us lead sane and happy lives? Oh, not the usual self-help drivel about how to lose weight or enjoy sex, but answers to the really big questions, like what to think about when you wake up in the morning and how to drink water out of a plastic bottle without burping. Try this experiment. Next time you go up to your favorite newsstand, scan all the overwro... Gossip: What People Say About It By : Tom Attea We decided, at a reader’s request, to write about gossip and, along the way, to note what others have gossiped about it. We decided, at a reader’s request, to write about gossip and, along the way, to note what others have gossiped about it. What might one say under the influence of a confessional potion when asked, “Why do you always talk about other people?” We imagined the reply, “Apparently, because I have nothing much to say about myself.” Before we turn to the ... Jokes, The World's Best Medicine By : Boyd Troublerr What were the last jokes that made you roll around on the floor because you were laughing so hard? Did it involve a doctor, a priest, and a lawyer? Was it on a TV show, or part of a stand-up comedy routine, or part of a recent lecture? In any event, do you remember how it made you feel? More likely than not you can remember the last time, and if you took a minute you could probably tell me the jokes, and it probably made your day. It either gave you relief from the stress ... U. S. May Join Opec. 1/4 Of World's Untapped Oil Reserves In Artic. By : Tom Attea Recent exploration of sediment deep beneath the Artic Ocean has led geologists to estimate that approximately 1/4 of the world’s untapped oil and gas reserves are located there. After evaluating the impact of the news, the U. S. may seek membership in OPEC. President Bush, smiling and joking with King Abdullah of Saudi Arabia at a press briefing in Nome, Alaska, stated, “Since it looks like we’ve got about as much oil off Alaska as our good friend the King here has in the ... Relaxed And Happy American Located; Agrees To Brief Interview By : Tom Attea Despite the troubling news that assails us each day and seems bent on convincing us we should all be the tense and unhappy recipients of the worldwide outrages it forwards, we remained confident that maybe somewhere there is still at least one American who is relaxed and happy. Intent on locating the indomitable soul, should there still be one, we spread out across the nation and, just as we were ready to drop our shoulders and sigh with hopelessness, we saw a man walking ... Independence Fever By : Deanna Mascle - 1. What event do Americans celebrate with a national holiday on July 4th? A. George Washington’s birthday B. King George III’s ascension to the throne of England C. Formal adoption of the Declaration of Independence from England D. Official signing of the Declaration of Independence C. Formal adoption of the Declaration of Independence from England TOPICS: The official signing actually took place over several days. 2. What country celebrates a national holiday in J... How A Head Cold Got Me Married -- Short Version By : Karen Peralta Now that I’m settled, I must reflect on my past as a happy-go-lucky single. How can I forget the many times I’ve misled myself into a man’s loving arms, and how much I loved every minute of it? Why, I squirm as if caught in a velvet trap…well, I could, but my second husband is standing right behind me and might ask me what I’m sitting on. I loved my first husband, a wonderfully funny Jew whose parents had fled the Holocaust as kids. After a dozen roller-coaster relation... Where's There's Three By : Ruth Gunter Mitchell Grandma made a major decision the other day. She had been ponderin and ponderin how to deal with her three little darlins in the best way possible. She finally decided since there were three of them, maybe there should be three of her. Yep, Grandma decided she’d split her personality into three personalities and become three in one. Who knows? Even that Miss Ophrie might come a callin to her door and a wantin to meet them three in one. So Grandma had to decide which three ... Too Many Cats? By : Kathie Freeman An easy-to follow list of the common symptoms of feline over-population. How A Head Cold Got Me Married By : Karen Peralta Now that I’m really settled down for bad or good, I can’t help but reflect on my lengthy past as a happy-go-lucky single. How can I forget the many bizarre, crazy, and benighted times I’ve misled myself into a man’s twin loving arms, and how very much I miss loving every minute of it? How? Why, I squirm as if caught in a velvet trap…well, I could, but my husband is standing right behind me and might ask me what I’m sitting on. Yes, it’s been nothing but high misadventur... How To Be A Modern-Day Fictional Heroine By : Laurel Osterkamp It used to be so easy. All you needed was a thick mane of tousled auburn locks, high cheekbones and a determined little chin; add an ounce of determination and an event from your past that haunts you still. Then, wham! You were the perfect fictional heroine. But now it’s not so simple. With television shows like Grey’s Anatomy and Ally McBeal, books like Bridget Jones’s Diary and Good in Bed, and movies like Miss Congeniality and Legally Blonde, we’re getting all sorts of ... Humour Therapy By : Todd Lange "Laughter is the best medicine" -- who doesn't know this popular adage? Laughter is not a cure for cancer or other degenerative diseases, but doctors and the medical professionals found that it increases treatment receptiveness in patients. Scientists researching about psychoneuroimmunology are discovering that there is a crucial connection between a person's mind and body. This is particularly manifested by the body's ability to heal through mental stimulation. Laughter appe... You Might Be A Chocoholic If ... By : Wayne Mitchell Are you a chocoholic? Answer these questions to help find out. chocoholic (def): a person who has or claims to have an addiction to chocolate If you have more than 2 secret stashes of chocolate candy, you might be a chocoholic. (Be honest.) * If your top 3 favorite candies all have chocolate in them, you might be a chocoholic. * If you have more than 4 books at home on chocolate, you might be a chocoholic. * If your favorite dessert is chocolate cake with chocolate... Diving For Treasure In My Own Living Room By : Ruth Mitchell So, time arrived for replacing the living room furniture. Grandpa and I had our same sofa, loveseat, extra chair, tables, and lamps from our thirty-five years of marriage. Still leaning toward denial, we agreed blue remains our favorite color, not one person has fallen all the way to the floor in our chair yet, and parts of the lampshades still block the view of the bare GE 100 watt lightbulbs. Besides, right before the delivery men appeared at my fingerprint-smudged storm do... August Arcana By : Deanna Mascle - 1. Although it is the eighth months in the Gregorian Calendar, August was originally what month in the Roman Calendar? A. Sixth B. Seventh C. Eighth D. Ninth A. Sixth TOPICS: It was originally known as Sextilis which is the Latin name for the sixth month in the Roman calendar. 2. The US honors what fish in August? A. Goldfish B. Swordfish C. Shark D. Catfish D. Catfish TOPICS: Catfish are any of about 31 families and 2,000 species of fish belonging to t... Laborious Details By : Deanna Mascle - 1. Which countries celebrate Labor Day? A. United States and Canada B. United States and Germany C. United States and England D. United States and Australia A. United States and Canada TBD: It is a celebration of the working class. 2. Which country has the largest labor force in the world? A. Indonesia B. United States C. India D. China D. China TBD: China is followed by India, the United States, and Indonesia. China’s work force at 709 million in 1995 ... The Final Justification For Pleasure By : Wayne Mitchell Chocolate is a Vegetable: Chocolate is derived from cocoa beans. Beans = vegetable. Sugar is derived from either sugar CANE or sugar BEETS. Both are plants, which place them in the vegetable category. Thus, chocolate is a vegetable. To go one step further, chocolate candy bars also contain milk, which is a dairy product. So candy bars are a health food. Chocolate-covered raisins, cherries, orange slices and strawberries all count as fruit, so eat as many as you want. If... Old Man Potomac, He Just Keeps Rollin’ Along By : Tom Attea Some days when we contemplate the divisive and deluded doings in DC, it helps to look away from the grandiose and revered buildings that have hosted our government since it was moved there from Philadelphia in 1800 and to contemplate the broad, green, and ever forward pushing Potomac, the generally placid river that just keeps rollin' through it. Here we see a boater speeding along, hoping the wind in his ears will clear his brain of brow-knitting complexities, while anoth... Depressed Rabbit Attempts Suicide By : Tom Attea A male rabbit named Furball had lost all hope. The female rabbit he had lived with for an entire year had left him for another rabbit. The owner of the garden he usually dined at had just put a fence around it. A fox had nipped one of his ears. And, at his most depressed, it seemed to him that all life is mere ephemera in the eye of time. The only thing to do was bring an end to his sorrow, hunger, pain, and inability to find meaning even in a moment. He would take his own... A Funny Joke and The Man without Humor By : Bedrich Omacka April fool’s day is a favorite day for some, because there are many funny jokes that can be played. Top 10 Signs You are a Dog Lover By : Emma Snow There’s something different about you. People sense it the moment you walk in the door. Is it in your smile, or the way wear your hair? Truly, there are countless manifestations of your canine obsession. Increasing Persuasion With Humor By : Kurt Mortensen Many people take for granted the powerful persuading influence of humor. Humor is often tossed off as sheer entertainment or mere speech filler. The truth is, when you engage an audience with humor, you are accomplishing much more than just getting a laugh out of them. Humor disarms an audience, making them more likely to open up to you. Once your prospects feel comfortable with you, they will be more in tune to your message and more likely to remain attentive. Audience m... Hilarious Jokes to Lighten Your Mood By : Steven Jeny In a rut? Grumbling about all the nonsense in your life? Switch to decaf and lighten up a bit. Easier said then done, eh? Well, give these jokes and quotes a read. They should do the trick. Confessions of an Infomercial Junkie By : Gary Kurz Enjoy a candid and humorous confession from a man who has spent nearly $25,000 on infomercial products. Just about everyone can relate to this. A Christmas Of Good Intentions By : Tim Knox Christmas is that time of the year when we all rejoice and celebrate. However, along with Christmas comes a chore that is troublesome to some people - "shopping". This article relates just one such trip to avoid doing last minute shopping by going for it a full week in advance. All The President's Women By : Tim Knox How does the nation take the allegations against President Bill Clinton? There have been national surveys and forecasts by amateurs and pundits alike. Here is an analysis of the whole episode as well as some advice for the President. Armadillo On The Half Shell By : Tim Knox The origins of the human food menu is certainly a mystery that is yet unsolved. However, it seems that some amendments are certainly being made in these dietary standards today! Beanie Babies Anonymous By : Tim Knox The Beanie Babies syndrome has really caught on with no end in sight. Read on to see some of the effects of this mania and some tips on how to cure it. El Nino Made Me Do It! By : Tim Knox The changing climate certainly does pose a threat to our planet and eco-system. However, it also presents an opportunity for those who need to blame somethine Getting "Yankee Naked" By : Tim Knox Nakedness is no longer a word that is self explanatory. There are just so many variations of this word with each having a different meaning that an explanation of the braod categories is necessary. This is just what this article sets out to do! Ghosts Of Halloweens Past By : Tim Knox Times may have changed but the spirit of Halloween continues to live on. Children today have as much as they did in the past - and so do their parents! Gimme A Head With Hair By : Tim Knox A man's hair are certainly one of his best assets and a matter of pride. For many their loss can cause depression and anxiety that must be taken care of by an expert psychotherapist - or better still by a sports car! Growing Old In A Red Miata By : Tim Knox I just had another birthday and I'm not particularly happy about it. To me, that's like saying, "I'm another year closer to having my prostate removed! Somebody bake me a cake and let's party!" Honey, Did You Take Your Pill? By : Tim Knox A birth control pill for men? As if remembering to take out the trash isn't enough pressure. I Hope You Kept The Receipt By : Tim Knox Will it be something from Victoria's Secret or another beefstick this year? I Love You, You Love Me By : Tim Knox Barney The Dinosaur is suing The Famous San Diego Chicken for beating up a Barney lookalike during his act. Sounds like a clear case of costume envy to me. I Was Rooting For By : Tim Knox Who was I rooting for in the Iron Bowl? Sorry, if I tell you, I'll have to kill you If You Clone A Schizophrenic By : Tim Knox Scientists have successfully cloned a sheep and a cow. What's next? Dogs? Cats? Professional wrestlers? Me? And if you clone a schizophrenic, how many people do you get? No Sale Like A Yardsale By : Tim Knox Remember, it's not how much you spend at a yardsale, but how much you talk them down Pick On Somebody Your Own Size By : Tim Knox Mattel's redesigning Barbie to make her more realistic. Imagine Christy Brinkley going in, David Brinkley. Show Me The Money By : Tim Knox The stock market could crash like a circus fat lady falling over a lawn chair and it wouldn't affect me in the least. All my money's tied up in bills; electric bill, phone bill, Visa bill etc.
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