Articles Category: Humor - Self Improvement Articles from PositiveArticles.Com

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“Computer jokes can easily create laughter among the crowd” By : Rahul Roy Unlike the word “Computer”, jokes regarding it are also famous in the same ratio around the whole world. People like and enjoy reading and listening jokes about the equipment they use most of the time. You Might Be A Chocoholic If ... By : Wayne Mitchell Are you a chocoholic? Answer these questions to help find out. chocoholic (def): a person who has or claims to have an addiction to chocolate If you have more than 2 secret stashes of chocolate candy, you might be a chocoholic. (Be honest.) * If your top 3 favorite candies all have chocolate in them, you might be a chocoholic. * If you have more than 4 books at home on chocolate, you might be a chocoholic. * If your favorite dessert is chocolate cake with chocolate... Wondering as what kind of jokes are bar jokes? By : Rahul Roy Among the funny jokes to crack, most of the people prefer to choose the bar jokes. In fact, bar jokes are those in which a drunkard’s funny side is taken into consideration to make laughter. It may be associated with bar or drunk people. Women Are From Where? By : Tim Knox A remote control in the hands of a woman is a dangerous thing, especially when it's her man she's trying to change. Who Cracked My Crystal Ball? By : Tim Knox Predictons for the new year as foretold over a beer and Polish sausage sandwich Where's There's Three By : Ruth Gunter Mitchell Grandma made a major decision the other day. She had been ponderin and ponderin how to deal with her three little darlins in the best way possible. She finally decided since there were three of them, maybe there should be three of her. Yep, Grandma decided she’d split her personality into three personalities and become three in one. Who knows? Even that Miss Ophrie might come a callin to her door and a wantin to meet them three in one. So Grandma had to decide which three ... When Printers Hit Your Inbox: Funny (Or Frightening!) E-mail Printer Ink Chains By : Brenda Stoke So you know those annoying e-mails you get sometimes? They say something along the lines of “Send this to five people in five minutes or else you’ll have bad luck for life.” You know the ones that you usually delete? Well, sometimes, those e-mail chain letters can be kind of funny. Or they’ll make you stop and say, When Great Minds Meet By : Tim Knox When the richest man in America meets the world's greatest Elvis impersonator, you know only good things could come of it. Could 'Don't Be Cruel' really become Microsoft's new theme song? What's my mama gonna say? By : Tim Knox I know you're going to find this hard to believe, but I, Tim Knox, am a sexist pig. Sorry, mama. I had no idea. U. S. May Join Opec. 1/4 Of World's Untapped Oil Reserves In Artic. By : Tom Attea Recent exploration of sediment deep beneath the Artic Ocean has led geologists to estimate that approximately 1/4 of the world’s untapped oil and gas reserves are located there. After evaluating the impact of the news, the U. S. may seek membership in OPEC. President Bush, smiling and joking with King Abdullah of Saudi Arabia at a press briefing in Nome, Alaska, stated, “Since it looks like we’ve got about as much oil off Alaska as our good friend the King here has in the ... Top 10 Signs You are a Dog Lover By : Emma Snow There’s something different about you. People sense it the moment you walk in the door. Is it in your smile, or the way wear your hair? Truly, there are countless manifestations of your canine obsession. Too Many Cats? By : Kathie Freeman An easy-to follow list of the common symptoms of feline over-population. Thingamabobs And Whatchamadigits By : Tim Knox My daughter cornered me the other night, wanting to know about the birds and bees. Actually, she wanted to know what "sectional misconduct" was. The Use of Videos and Humor By : David T. Most people watch videos because they would like to be entertained and relaxed especially after a day filled with stress. Humorous videos are used mainly for the purpose of getting rid of stress in order to make a full recovery. The Unsinkable Tim Knox By : Tim Knox I call them 'Ti-taniacs.' They look perfectly normal at first, but eventually they will ask, 'Have you seen 'Titanic' yet? That's when their dimentia rolls to the surface and the all-out assault begins The Tax Man Cometh By : Tim Knox Someone once said the only things in life that are certain are death and taxes I think the only difference between the two is that death claims you just once, but taxes can kill you every year. The Tanya Factor By : Tim Knox Is it me or are the '98 Winter Olympics about as exciting as watching old people speedwalk at the mall? What's missing this year? Could be The Tanya Factor The Smarter White Meat By : Tim Knox A college professor at Penn State is trying to teach pigs to communicate using computers. I think this guy is one pork rind short of a full bag. Who wants to get email from a pig? The Sky Is Falling By : Tim Knox When you turn on the TV and learn that a giant, killer asteroid is headed your way, you have to ask yourself certain questions. Like, should I have that second bowl of Crispy Hexagons or just stop at one? The Religion Of Football By : Tim Knox Here in Alabama, there are three kinds of people: Crimson Tide fans, War Eagle fans, and atheists. The Real McCaugheys By : Tim Knox They sing, they dance, they drive the kids wild. But how best to describe the Teletubbies to the uninitiated? Imagine this: if Pink Floyd produced a half-hour show for kids, this would be it. And you would enjoy it immensely. The New Fab Four By : Tim Knox They sing, they dance, they drive the kids wild. But how best to describe the Teletubbies to the uninitiated? Imagine this: if Pink Floyd produced a half-hour show for kids, this would be it. And you would enjoy it immensely. The Intelligent Diaper By : Tim Knox I believe it was Frank Zappa who said, "Necessity is the mother of invention," which means that if there is a need for something, sooner or later, someone will invent it. And then Microsoft will rip it off. The Headless Horseman Of Mass Media: Information Everywhere, Philosophy Nowhere By : Tom AtteaNewsLaugh.com Did you ever notice that we’re surrounded by information but hardly ever come across an idea in the media that might help us lead sane and happy lives? Oh, not the usual self-help drivel about how to lose weight or enjoy sex, but answers to the really big questions, like what to think about when you wake up in the morning and how to drink water out of a plastic bottle without burping. Try this experiment. Next time you go up to your favorite newsstand, scan all the overwro... The Four Letters Between PG & R By : Tim Knox When you're a kid, there are certain words you dare not say. Swear words, my mother called them, cuss words. Today, my kids call them "daddy words." You can probably figure out why. The Final Justification For Pleasure By : Wayne Mitchell Chocolate is a Vegetable: Chocolate is derived from cocoa beans. Beans = vegetable. Sugar is derived from either sugar CANE or sugar BEETS. Both are plants, which place them in the vegetable category. Thus, chocolate is a vegetable. To go one step further, chocolate candy bars also contain milk, which is a dairy product. So candy bars are a health food. Chocolate-covered raisins, cherries, orange slices and strawberries all count as fruit, so eat as many as you want. If... The Dust Settles On Miss America By : Tim Knox The Miss America Pageant is taking its last breath. Will the mourners have to wear swimsuits to the funeral, or will evening gowns be enough? Sure, girls are cool.. but I so don't wanna be one. By : Craig Harper I gotta tell ya girls, I've given it some serious thought and I really think that, as a gender... you're missin' out. Being a bloke.... waaaay more fun. No doubt. Staying Alive By : Tim Knox If someone offered you a pill that would add 50 years to your life, would you take it? Not me. At least not until I found out who'd be footing the bill for all that extra life. Stand up comedian or bubble blower? By : Matt Canham Learning to swim is like learning stand up comedy. This article will have you blowing comedy bubbles in no time. St. Viagra's Dance By : Tim Knox The impotency drug Viagra has every old person I know talking about having sex again. All I have to say is, 'Folks, please, not in front of the children! Sometimes Life Just Ain't Funny By : Tim Knox Alabama weather is about as predictable as watching The Jerry Springer Show. You know something's going to happen, you're just not sure what it will be. Some People Will Eat Anything By : Tim Knox Most people are like Mikey, the old Life cereal kid. We are nondiscriminating carnivores who will eat anything -- especially if it can be made to taste like chicken Some Guys Have All The Luck By : Tim Knox Recent studies claim that the less educated you are, the more sex you have, and the more sex you have, the longer you'll live. Sure gives new meaning to "Live long and prosper!" Smoke 'em If You Can Afford 'em By : Tim Knox What's the difference between a $30 cigar and one that costs fifty cents. The answer begins with cow poop. Show Me The Money By : Tim Knox The stock market could crash like a circus fat lady falling over a lawn chair and it wouldn't affect me in the least. All my money's tied up in bills; electric bill, phone bill, Visa bill etc. Rumsfeld Appoints Self Retired General; Rushes To Own Defense By : Tom AtteaNewsLaugh.com Donald Rumsfeld, under fire from a platoon of retired generals who have called for his resignation, went on the offensive by appointing himself a retired general. Accompanied by a currently employed general, who, as the head of The Joint Chiefs Of Staff, is his usual sidekick, he stated, “As The Secretary of Defense, I think I should at least be on an equal footing with a retired general, and, after careful consideration, I decided to become one.” A reporter then asked,... Relaxed And Happy American Located; Agrees To Brief Interview By : Tom Attea Despite the troubling news that assails us each day and seems bent on convincing us we should all be the tense and unhappy recipients of the worldwide outrages it forwards, we remained confident that maybe somewhere there is still at least one American who is relaxed and happy. Intent on locating the indomitable soul, should there still be one, we spread out across the nation and, just as we were ready to drop our shoulders and sigh with hopelessness, we saw a man walking ... Pick On Somebody Your Own Size By : Tim Knox Mattel's redesigning Barbie to make her more realistic. Imagine Christy Brinkley going in, David Brinkley. Old Man Potomac, He Just Keeps Rollin’ Along By : Tom Attea Some days when we contemplate the divisive and deluded doings in DC, it helps to look away from the grandiose and revered buildings that have hosted our government since it was moved there from Philadelphia in 1800 and to contemplate the broad, green, and ever forward pushing Potomac, the generally placid river that just keeps rollin' through it. Here we see a boater speeding along, hoping the wind in his ears will clear his brain of brow-knitting complexities, while anoth... No Sale Like A Yardsale By : Tim Knox Remember, it's not how much you spend at a yardsale, but how much you talk them down Montana People: Weird In Their Own Special Way By : Jenny Harker We have all heard tales of strange people living in Montana; the Unabomber, the freedom militias, the poor sods stuck in the Federal Witness Protection Program. I assure you the majority of people living in Montana are friendly, polite, are reasonably sane, and will go out of their way to lend a hand to strangers. Now, I am a cynical Californian transplanted in Montana. I cannot help but feel suspicious of helpful strangers. Oh, the clerk wants to volunteer the use o... Laborious Details By : Deanna Mascle - 1. Which countries celebrate Labor Day? A. United States and Canada B. United States and Germany C. United States and England D. United States and Australia A. United States and Canada TBD: It is a celebration of the working class. 2. Which country has the largest labor force in the world? A. Indonesia B. United States C. India D. China D. China TBD: China is followed by India, the United States, and Indonesia. China’s work force at 709 million in 1995 ... Jokes, The World's Best Medicine By : Boyd Troublerr What were the last jokes that made you roll around on the floor because you were laughing so hard? Did it involve a doctor, a priest, and a lawyer? Was it on a TV show, or part of a stand-up comedy routine, or part of a recent lecture? In any event, do you remember how it made you feel? More likely than not you can remember the last time, and if you took a minute you could probably tell me the jokes, and it probably made your day. It either gave you relief from the stress ... It’s No Joke, Laughter Is Awesome Medicine! By : Chad Ferguson You go right ahead! Laugh and cackle to the point of losing your breath! Laughter has enormous amounts of health benefits ranging from affecting diabetes to lowering risks of heart attacks and everything in between! In this modern world that we live in, full of medicinal remedies and medical breakthroughs, who would ever dream that something as simple as laughter could induce such amazing benefits to your health that could rival highly scientific compounds found in drugs o... It is fun to crack a joke regarding old age and retirement By : Rahul Roy It is fun to crack a joke regarding old age and retirement within the same circle. They enjoy being in fun about their old age and retirement. Retirement jokes may be of great help to revive the interests of other listeners. Independence Fever By : Deanna Mascle - 1. What event do Americans celebrate with a national holiday on July 4th? A. George Washington’s birthday B. King George III’s ascension to the throne of England C. Formal adoption of the Declaration of Independence from England D. Official signing of the Declaration of Independence C. Formal adoption of the Declaration of Independence from England TOPICS: The official signing actually took place over several days. 2. What country celebrates a national holiday in J... Increasing Persuasion With Humor By : Kurt Mortensen Many people take for granted the powerful persuading influence of humor. Humor is often tossed off as sheer entertainment or mere speech filler. The truth is, when you engage an audience with humor, you are accomplishing much more than just getting a laugh out of them. Humor disarms an audience, making them more likely to open up to you. Once your prospects feel comfortable with you, they will be more in tune to your message and more likely to remain attentive. Audience m... Ig Nobel Prizes: Funniest Science Achievements By : Rajesh Kumar Here you can read about some of the most unnecessary researches that were awarded the Ig Nobel Prize. If You Clone A Schizophrenic By : Tim Knox Scientists have successfully cloned a sheep and a cow. What's next? Dogs? Cats? Professional wrestlers? Me? And if you clone a schizophrenic, how many people do you get?
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