Articles in Home | Self help | Leadership

  • Principled Negotiations  By : Margaret Meloni
    So much of your life is a negotiation. At home you negotiate your children's bed times, what time dinner will be ready, whose family you visit for the holidays and many other items. At work you negotiate difficult deadlines, impossible budgets and over-allocated resources.

    When you use a soft negotiation approach you place more value on being nice and maintaining a friendship. There is nothing wrong with being nice, except that ...
  • Just Be Yourself  By : Margaret Meloni
    �Do I have to be an extravert to be a good leader? �

    �Do I have to be able to walk up to strangers and strike up conversations to be a successful leader?�

    My answer to both of the above: no and no!
  • Comparisons  By : Margaret Meloni
    �Never compare your insides with someone else�s outside.� � Hugh Macleod

    It is not often that the quotes I share with you come from someone who is still breathing. Today�s quote does and this makes me a bit nervous. See I am not certain if I am using the quote the way that Hugh Macleod intends it to be used.
  • Bad Company  By : Margaret Meloni
    �It is better to be alone than in bad company.� - George Washington

    Other people do form opinions about you based on your group associations. This is also why good employees leave bad teams. They simply do not want to be associated with a group that has a bad reputation. They rarely hang around to try and improve that reputation; they get away from it as fast as they can.
  • Bad Company  By : Margaret Meloni
    �It is better to be alone than in bad company.� - George Washington

    Other people do form opinions about you based on your group associations. This is also why good employees leave bad teams. They simply do not want to be associated with a group that has a bad reputation. They rarely hang around to try and improve that reputation; they get away from it as fast as they can.
  • Conflicted Priorities Equal Conflicted Behavior  By : Margaret Meloni
    It was 4:45pm and the requirements review meeting had already gone fifteen minutes beyond the scheduled end time. Joe was becoming agitated. He needed to get out the door at 5:00 pm exactly in order to pick up his daughter from soccer practice. The meeting was not showing any signs of wrapping up. He let out a big sigh. Finally Joe blurted out �Who cares if the report displays in landscape or portrait format, just list the fields you need on the report and move on."
  • Skills You Can Learn  By : Margaret Meloni
    You have probably either heard me say (or read an article where I have reminded you) that you can develop your emotional intelligence. Perhaps you have also read an article where I remind you that you can adapt your conflict resolution approach and while you cannot control difficult people, you can control your own behavior. You can learn the best way to deal with your jerk at work.
  • 6 Tips to Resolve Conflicts  By : Junaid Tahir
    Resolving conflicts whether in office, in friends community or at home is a challenge. The situation sometimes get worst when nobody shows the flexibility on his/her stance. The below tips might help when you have been assigned (Or you assign it to yourself) to resolve the conflict.
  • Mitigate the Risk Called YOU  By : Margaret Meloni
    Sometimes your behaviors support you and sometimes they do not. The key is to identify the supporting behaviors or opportunities so that you can use them more and to identify the behaviors that are damaging or the threats so that you can learn to prevent them.
  • How To Build Confidence And Command Courage  By : Roseanna Leaton
    Is courage something we all have or is it only available to a select few? What can you do to be able to display courage more easily and more often?
  • YOU are a Risk  By : Margaret Meloni
    Each day you bring strengths and weaknesses to work. You walk into the room (virtual or otherwise) with what makes you unique. Or as the saying goes, wherever you go, there you are. That is a good thing. It is all of the elements that make you, well you; that differentiate you from others. You cannot escape yourself, but you can GROW yourself.
  • Do the Right Thing  By : Margaret Meloni
    �Always do right. This will gratify some people and astonish the rest.�
    Mark Twain

    Of course people are not surprised when YOU do the right thing. More often than not you are the person who does the right thing. How do I know this?
  • Where Are You Coming From?  By : Margaret Meloni
    Have you ever looked at someone and thought, �I have no clue what this person is talking about.� Maybe you even have specifically thought, �Where is this person coming from?� You were not questioning their place of origin. What you were questioning was their perspective.

    If you occasionally question the perspective of others, doesn�t it make sense that people occasionally wonder where you are coming from?
  • Is it Worth It?  By : Margaret Meloni
    You are probably not surprised this comes from me. Yes, this is one of those points that I just will not give up. Perhaps you have sayings that you like to use or expressions that your family, friends and co-workers expect to hear from you. I guess this is one of mine.
  • Your Boss is Human  By : Margaret Meloni
    This just in, you report to a human being!

    Whether or not she lets you see her human side or not, she has pressures, stresses, fears, and insecurities just like you do. So don�t think for a minute that just because someone has a director or a vice-president in their title that they have no worries.
  • 9 Tips for Navigating YOUR Office Party  By : Margaret Meloni
    It�s that time again, peace on earth and good will to all. Or at least it would be if you were not worried about those darned office parties. What are they anyway? Are they work or are they parties? Here are some tips to help you navigate the maze of professional pitfalls that lurk behind that innocent invitation to celebrate with your co-workers.
  • Culture is Everything  By : Margaret Meloni
    Too often I have worked with people who have joined a new organization only to crash and burn. Too often a complete and total disregard for organizational culture has played a part in this unfortunate scenario.

    Here is what NOT to do:
  • How to Be Wrong  By : Margaret Meloni
    I need to tell you something. I hope you don�t mind. You see, what I have to tell you might not be something you want to know. But here goes, �You are not always right.� This is my polite way of telling you that sometimes you are wrong.

    It�s OK. Believe it or not, we all are wrong about something.
  • People Do Not Leave the Company  By : Margaret Meloni
    �I disliked working with those people so much that I don�t even know if I hate doing this for a living or it was just those people at THAT place.� - Anonymous

    You have probably heard the expression, �people do not leave companies, people leave people.� Well it is true. Think about some of the jobs you have left. Your decision to leave may have been based on the fact that you were stuck working for someone who you just could not tolerate.
  • Get outside the box with Six Thinking Hats  By : ChallenGenes
    Six Thinking Hats is a thinking tool for group discussion and individual thinking. A powerful technique that helps you looks at important decisions from a number of different perspectives and a means to plan thinking processes in a detailed and cohesive way.
  • That was a Decision, Really?  By : Margaret Meloni
    Tom was not surprised when Jacob and Marilyn asked for a private meeting with him. He had a hunch that some of the team was displeased with him. He thought of Jacob and Marilyn as �unofficial� team leaders. They seemed to be the two people who his team members looked to for professional guidance. Tom had mixed feeling about his upcoming meeting with the two of them.
  • Please, Make a Decision  By : Margaret Meloni
    Over lunch, Jacob and Marilyn discussed some of the frustrations they were experiencing on one of their current projects. Jacob was a business analyst on the project and Marilyn was the subject matter expert. Jacob turned to Marilyn and said to her, �If you could say just one thing to Tom our project manager, what would it be?� Without hesitation Marilyn replied, �Please, make a decision.�

    Unfortunately Jacob and Marilyn both viewed Tom as wishy-washy...
  • Likeability  By : Margaret Meloni
    There is a saying in the English language, �You catch more flies with honey than with vinegar.� Let�s put aside the obvious question, who wants to catch flies?
  • Don�t Be a Jerk to a Jerk  By : Margaret Meloni
    Sometimes you find yourself working with someone and no matter how kind and compassionate you try to be, you still think they are a jerk.
  • Keeping Others Down  By : Margaret Meloni
    "As long as you keep a person down, some part of you has to be down there to hold him down, so it means you cannot soar as you otherwise might." Marian Anderson

    This is so obvious when you think about it from a physical perspective, but holding someone down (even mentally or emotionally) requires you to keep yourself lower to the ground (again mentally or emotionally) too..
  • Be Skeptical  By : Margaret Meloni
    Be skeptical but learn to listen. This seems like an interesting agreement to use in navigating today�s world. By agreement I mean a treaty or contract that you have made with yourself. I can�t take credit for this idea; it comes from �The Fifth Agreement� by Don Miguel Ruiz and his son Don Jose Ruiz. Whether you acknowledge it or not you use agreements in each aspect of your life � personal and professional. You believe that you cannot write or that you cannot handle stress. These are agreement
  • When to Be Aggressive  By : Margaret Meloni
    Is an aggressive communication style always bad? Sometimes it appears that much of the information about aggressive styles or dominant personalities is presented using fairly negative words. Or is it that I interpret these words as negative? Here is a list, what do you think?
  • 3 Characteristics Of An Effective Leader That Are Vital For Success  By : Michael Lee
    Not all leaders are created equal. Some over promise but under deliver, while others prove just how deserving they are of their position. Do you have the characteristics of an effective leader? Find out in this article.
  • 5 Tips to Keep the Peace this Holiday Season  By : Margaret Meloni
    Did you blink? Here it is again, another holiday season! Do you love this time of year or do you dread it? Perhaps your feelings are a bit mixed. Your holiday experience can be really upsetting, tiring and stressful OR your holiday season can truly be one of peace and joy. The choice is up to YOU. Your thoughts and actions during this time will define your holiday experience. You cannot control the thoughts and actions of others, but you can take control of your own thoughts and actions. Think of this time of year as an opportunity, an opportunity to continue to grow and strengthen your ability to treat yourself and others with compassion and respect. How? Here are five tips to get you through this season in peace and not in pieces.
  • The Big Cover Up  By : Margaret Meloni
    All of a sudden Sam had that �I think I forgot something feeling�, the feeling that makes some of us feel just a little bit sick to our stomachs or perhaps brings on a cold sweat. Then he realized what it was, he had completely forgotten to tell his project steering committee about the change request that the branch office had given to him when he visited their facility two weeks ago. The branch manager�s administrative assistant had handed him a hardcopy as he was leaving for the airport. Sam had placed the change request into a folder full of papers, jumped into a cab and promptly forgotten about it.
  • Charity Begins at Work  By : Margaret Meloni
    You may have heard the saying, �charity begins at home�. The idea is that before you take care of others you take care of those who are closest to you first. Don�t give away your last dime if you have no money to feed your own family, don�t give away your time and energy to others if your own family is waiting at home for your time and energy. Today I would like to propose to you an updated version of this expression, one for our professional lives � �charity begins at work.�
    There are many ways that you can put �charity begins at work� into practice, let�s examine a few.
  • It is Not Just the Language  By : Margaret Meloni
    Three travelers were on a tour when they became separated from the rest of the group. They found themselves alone in a strange area of a strange land. They each spoke a tiny bit of English but did not speak the language of the area and other then their little bit of English they did not share a common language. They did all agree that they were hungry and they agreed to pool their money to purchase some food. This is when the arguing began.

    One traveler kept insisting on a specific food item, no one else wanted that item. Another traveler argued that the item he was suggesting was the most affordable. And so it went. Finally a man approached them.
  • Practical Approach to Resolving Conflict  By : Joshua Uebergang
    Conflict management, whether at home, out in the street or in the workplace, takes considerable time and effort to master with any hope of competency. Here are four effective approaches to consider in your quest to master conflict management.
  • Easy Conflict Resolution Techniques in the Workplace  By : Joshua Uebergang
    Conflicts sometimes seem to come out of no where, for little reason and once started they incite in ourselves anger, resentment, frustration and despair. Conflict resolution is possible with the right techniques. Here are four techniques to manage and resolve potential conflicts you may encounter in the workplace or anywhere else.
  • 3 Tips for Professionals to Develop Assertive Communication Skills  By : Joshua Uebergang
    It is crucial in professional situations, especially with money at stake, to give other people confidence in your abilities to be stable and professional in your daily dealings. Here are a few quick tips for building assertive communication skills in your professional life.
  • It Starts with YOUR Attention  By : Margaret Meloni
    The act of compassion begins with full attention, just as rapport does. You have to really see the person. If you see the person, then naturally, empathy arises. If you tune into the other person, you feel with them. If empathy arises and if that person is in dire need, then empathic concern can come. You want to help them, and then that begins a compassionate act. So I'd say that compassion begins with attention. >
    - Daniel Goleman

    It seems like some days the most difficult thing for us
  • The Little Things DO Count  By : Margaret Meloni
    �Too often we underestimate the power of a touch, a smile, a kind word, a listening ear, an honest compliment, or the smallest act of caring, all of which have the potential to turn a life around.� - Leo Buscaglia

    Have you ever started to pay someone a compliment or to say something nice to them and then stopped yourself? Why did you stop?
  • Are YOU Playing to YOUR Strengths?  By : Margaret Meloni
    �Oh no, here we go again� thought Joe as his Quality Assurance Analyst Heidi approached him with his memo, complete with typos circled in red ink. He was not really annoyed by Heidi, she was just doing what she does; he mainly felt embarrassed. After all as the leader shouldn�t all of his work be perfect?
  • Changing Your Mind  By : Margaret Meloni
    �Faced with the choice between changing one's mind and proving that there is no need to do so, almost everyone gets busy on the proof.�
    - John Kenneth Galbraith

    Have you ever watched someone put enormous time and energy into proving why they were right? I am talking about the kind of person who just cannot let it go.
  • Would the REAL You Please Stand Up?  By : Margaret Meloni
    Mary Carol read the email from Tisha and was really annoyed. She had just met with Tisha yesterday and everything seemed fine. Now here was this really harsh email. It made no sense.

    The most puzzling thing was that working with Tisha was like working with two different personalities all wrapped up into one person.
  • Book Review: General James Longstreet: The Confederacy's Most Modern General by Lieutenant Colonel Harold M. Knudsen  By : Johnny Kicklighter
    General James Longstreet has not only been misjudged by history, but actually was one of the most successful generals of the Civil War. Knudsen makes the case that General Longstreet has not only been misjudged by history, but actually was one of the most successful generals of the war.
  • The Zen of Leadership  By : Michael J. Beck
    There are many aspects to leadership that parallel the philosophies, concepts, and perspectives of Zen Buddhism. I don't profess to have a great depth of knowledge regarding Zen Buddhism, but from the insights I do have, I can see the application with respect to effective leadership.
  • Things to Do Today: Ask for Help  By : Margaret Meloni
    �Go ahead and tell me the steps you will take to complete this assignment.�

    This is the question that none of my early supervisors ever asked me on the job. And boy was I relieved that they never asked this question. Why?
  • Pick Up the Sword?  By : Margaret Meloni
    That�s it YOU have had it. You are tired of dealing with that person. THEY are always doing things on purpose to make you look bad. THEY are always doing things on purpose to get on YOUR nerves. Well it is time to do something, so YOU are going on the attack. For the purposes of our conversation you are not planning a physical attack. This is the workplace and let�s assume an office environment. Your form of attack looks something like this:
  • 3 Ways to Deal with Differences  By : Margaret Meloni
    "There are three ways of dealing with difference: domination, compromise, and integration. By domination only one side gets what it wants; by compromise neither side gets what it wants; by integration we find a way by which both sides may get what they wish..."
    Mary Parker Follett

    The above quote is an ideal reminder that there are multiple ways to deal with conflict. Is there a bias being displayed about the best way to resolve a conflict?
  • Choose YOUR Battles  By : Margaret Meloni
    �Pick battles big enough to matter, small enough to win. �
    Jonathan Kozol: On Being a Teacher, 1981

    Truthfully I do not know if I completely agree with the above quote,
    I bring it to you anyway because part of me thinks, �well this makes sense, I want to pick battles I can win�; but part of me wonders, �is this discouraging me from thinking big?�
  • Most Companies Get Leadership Wrong  By : Michael J. Beck
    Most companies take a good approach to developing leaders, but generally miss the point. There's a lot of emphasis placed on good decision making, effective communication, and team building. And all those are important, but don't address what matters most.
  • What Difference do Differences Make?  By : Margaret Meloni
    You have worked side-by-side with your team for quite some time and the good news is that it has been truly enjoyable. You get along, you work hard together and you laugh hard together. Lucky you, this might even be an example of a high performing team. You assumed it was because you had so much in common.
  • Bringing it ALL to Work  By : Margaret Meloni
    I remember it like it was yesterday. I still remember this supervisor looking at me and yelling, �WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU WOULD NOT CHOOSE THE MINISTER?�
  • Inspire Confidence to Become a Leader  By : jad1
    Inspire confidence in others to command respect and loyalty. Developing the self belief and confidence needed to be a leader.

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