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Kim Olver's Articles in General Self Help

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  • Top Ten Things Choice Theory Can Do For You
    Dr. William Glasser developed the concepts of Choice Theory upon the foundational work of Dr. William Power’s Control Theory. Both theories provide an explanation of human behavior—Powers focuses mostly on perception while Glasser expanded his ideas to include basic human needs and the concept of total behavior—including a person’s actions, thinking, feeling and physiology.

    Choice Theory provides an explanation of human behavior. Once learned, individuals will understand h...
  • Problem Solving With Reality Therapy
    Reality Therapy is a counseling method that was developed by Dr. William Glasser in 1965. However, it is so much more than a counseling technique. Reality Therapy is a problem solving method that works well with people who are experiencing problems they want help solving, as well as those who are having problems and appear to not want any assistance. Reality Therapy also provides an excellent model for helping individuals solve their own problems objectively and serves as the...
  • Living The Dream --- Yours Or Theirs?
    I know people in my life who when asked how are things going, will reply, “I’m living the dream.” Can you say the same? If you could, what would it mean?

    As far back as Sigmund Freud, psychologists have been saying that there are two major areas in a person’s life---love and work. When you are “living the dream,” you will be able to say that you have found satisfying work and are fulfilled in the relationships you share with the important people in your life.

    Now, I ask...
  • Ten Critical De-Escalation Skills
    Being able to de-escalate one’s own and the anger of others is an important skill to have in business. Hopefully, this is not something the reader deals with on a regular basis but unfortunately most people in business encounter either their own anger or the anger of others more frequently than they would like.

    In order to be successful at de-escalating anger, a person must understand and become skillful in the following areas.

    Prevention Steps:

    1. Recognize that an...
  • Starting Over
    How does one start over after the loss of a loved one? It is a monumental task that just feels overwhelming at times. Similar rebuilding occurs after the death, divorce or separation of a loved one.

    First comes the shock of the loss and an almost denial that is has happened, particularly if there was no warning. We have hopes and dreams of the future that include our loved one and suddenly he or she is not there. How will we cope? How can we go on?

    But go on we must and...
  • Change
    One thing in life is certain---change. Things never stay the same. If you are hoping for the status quo, then I’m afraid you will be disappointed. Just think back to how things were five years ago and you will realize that there is so very much that’s already different in a very short time.

    I’m sure there are some of you who know people who refused to adapt to the computer age. I still know some “old timers” who want to use word processors or even typewriters instead! Imag...
  • Grief & Loss
    Have you ever lost someone close to you to death? We go through a grief process that was best described by Elizabeth Kublar-Ross in On Death and Dying. In it she talks about the five stages that people go through---denial and isolation; anger; bargaining; depression and finally acceptance. The dying, as well as those who love them, go through these stages although rarely at the same time and these stages are not predictable.

    You may think you are in the anger phase, then j...
  • True Happiness
    Most people look outside of themselves as the cause of their unhappiness or frustration. After all, wouldn’t life be practically perfect if the significant people in our lives would simply do things the way we want them to or do what we think is best for them? Actually, this is the kind of thinking that perpetuates the misery!

    I agree that most of today’s unhappiness centers on important people in our lives not cooperating with us. Can anyone relate to that? Have you ever...
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