Tim Knox's Articles in Humor - Self Improvement Articles from PositiveArticles.Com

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Tim Knox's Articles in Humor

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Time To Sign A Lease; Get Your First Born Ready We’ve been discussing the steps required to open a brick and mortar store. We’ve talked about startup plans and finding a location. This week we look at what comes next in the process: the negotiation and signing of one of the most dreaded legal document any entrepreneur will ever face: the commercial lease (insert scary music here). It’s Not All About Location, Location, Location Last time we met I brought you the tale of how I scouted for and eventually found what I considered to be the best retail location for my new retail gunshop in my hometown of Madison. Learn To Avoid Ugly Baby Syndrome Last week we talked about creating a "Startup Plan" for your new business idea. To catch you up, a Startup Plan is a detailed list of tasks and subtasks that must be completed in order to get you from the initial idea stage to opening day and beyond. Do Your Homework To Find The Best Location For Your Business This week our discussion on starting a brick and mortar business continues. We’ve already talked about creating a Startup Plan to manage the process and conducting market research to gauge the viability of your idea. If you missed those entries visit TimKnox.com and click the "Columns" tab. Be Careful What You Wish For Well, my friends, like the Terminator, politicians named Clinton, the ghosts from the movie Poltergeist, and that corn on the side of your big toe: I’m back. There are just some things that won’t go away. Sorry. Don’t Let Stress Run You Out Of Business Stress is business is a common phenomenon and every entrepreneur must know how to handle it and grow with it. How To Really Get The Competitive Advantage Over Your Competition One of the hot catchphrases being bounced around a lot in business these days is “competitive advantage.”One of the cool things about being an entrepreneur and business author and speaker is that I get to use all kinds of big words and phrases that make me sound much smarter than I am. What Would You Do With A Second Chance? You could avoid the mistakes you previously made and build on the successes you previously enjoyed. You could nurture the positive relationships and avoid the bad. You could tap into your wealth of experience during times of indecision and always know where and when your time and money would be best spent. Like Books, Entrepreneurs Are Always Judged By Their Covers Enterpreneurship requires not just hard work and knowledge of business but also a number of other things that are many times not considered too important. Grooming yourself to look good is just one of these things that enterpreneurs need to focus on. Is Business Ownership In Your Future? Anyone who wishes to start a business must first do a lot of self assessment and planning otherwise the business venture may flounder easily. The Process For Becoming An Entrepreneur Many people want to start a new business but know little about what they are in for. This article can be a great resource for such people. How Do You Keep Your Best Employees From Flying The Coup? There is not lack of jobs for good talent today and the best way to keep your best employees around is to provide them with incentives to stay on. The end result is of course the continued growth of your business. Never Say It Can’t Be Done In business one must never say or assume that something can't be done. With a little help from ingenuity and creativity any problem can be easily solved. Women Are From Where? A remote control in the hands of a woman is a dangerous thing, especially when it's her man she's trying to change. Who Cracked My Crystal Ball? Predictons for the new year as foretold over a beer and Polish sausage sandwich When Great Minds Meet When the richest man in America meets the world's greatest Elvis impersonator, you know only good things could come of it. Could 'Don't Be Cruel' really become Microsoft's new theme song? What's my mama gonna say? I know you're going to find this hard to believe, but I, Tim Knox, am a sexist pig. Sorry, mama. I had no idea. Thingamabobs And Whatchamadigits My daughter cornered me the other night, wanting to know about the birds and bees. Actually, she wanted to know what "sectional misconduct" was. The Unsinkable Tim Knox I call them 'Ti-taniacs.' They look perfectly normal at first, but eventually they will ask, 'Have you seen 'Titanic' yet? That's when their dimentia rolls to the surface and the all-out assault begins The Tax Man Cometh Someone once said the only things in life that are certain are death and taxes I think the only difference between the two is that death claims you just once, but taxes can kill you every year. The Tanya Factor Is it me or are the '98 Winter Olympics about as exciting as watching old people speedwalk at the mall? What's missing this year? Could be The Tanya Factor The Smarter White Meat A college professor at Penn State is trying to teach pigs to communicate using computers. I think this guy is one pork rind short of a full bag. Who wants to get email from a pig? The Sky Is Falling When you turn on the TV and learn that a giant, killer asteroid is headed your way, you have to ask yourself certain questions. Like, should I have that second bowl of Crispy Hexagons or just stop at one? The Religion Of Football Here in Alabama, there are three kinds of people: Crimson Tide fans, War Eagle fans, and atheists. The Real McCaugheys They sing, they dance, they drive the kids wild. But how best to describe the Teletubbies to the uninitiated? Imagine this: if Pink Floyd produced a half-hour show for kids, this would be it. And you would enjoy it immensely. The New Fab Four They sing, they dance, they drive the kids wild. But how best to describe the Teletubbies to the uninitiated? Imagine this: if Pink Floyd produced a half-hour show for kids, this would be it. And you would enjoy it immensely. The Intelligent Diaper I believe it was Frank Zappa who said, "Necessity is the mother of invention," which means that if there is a need for something, sooner or later, someone will invent it. And then Microsoft will rip it off. The Four Letters Between PG & R When you're a kid, there are certain words you dare not say. Swear words, my mother called them, cuss words. Today, my kids call them "daddy words." You can probably figure out why. The Dust Settles On Miss America The Miss America Pageant is taking its last breath. Will the mourners have to wear swimsuits to the funeral, or will evening gowns be enough? Staying Alive If someone offered you a pill that would add 50 years to your life, would you take it? Not me. At least not until I found out who'd be footing the bill for all that extra life. St. Viagra's Dance The impotency drug Viagra has every old person I know talking about having sex again. All I have to say is, 'Folks, please, not in front of the children! Sometimes Life Just Ain't Funny Alabama weather is about as predictable as watching The Jerry Springer Show. You know something's going to happen, you're just not sure what it will be. Some People Will Eat Anything Most people are like Mikey, the old Life cereal kid. We are nondiscriminating carnivores who will eat anything -- especially if it can be made to taste like chicken Some Guys Have All The Luck Recent studies claim that the less educated you are, the more sex you have, and the more sex you have, the longer you'll live. Sure gives new meaning to "Live long and prosper!" Smoke 'em If You Can Afford 'em What's the difference between a $30 cigar and one that costs fifty cents. The answer begins with cow poop. Show Me The Money The stock market could crash like a circus fat lady falling over a lawn chair and it wouldn't affect me in the least. All my money's tied up in bills; electric bill, phone bill, Visa bill etc. Pick On Somebody Your Own Size Mattel's redesigning Barbie to make her more realistic. Imagine Christy Brinkley going in, David Brinkley. No Sale Like A Yardsale Remember, it's not how much you spend at a yardsale, but how much you talk them down If You Clone A Schizophrenic Scientists have successfully cloned a sheep and a cow. What's next? Dogs? Cats? Professional wrestlers? Me? And if you clone a schizophrenic, how many people do you get? I Was Rooting For Who was I rooting for in the Iron Bowl? Sorry, if I tell you, I'll have to kill you I Love You, You Love Me Barney The Dinosaur is suing The Famous San Diego Chicken for beating up a Barney lookalike during his act. Sounds like a clear case of costume envy to me. I Hope You Kept The Receipt Will it be something from Victoria's Secret or another beefstick this year? Honey, Did You Take Your Pill? A birth control pill for men? As if remembering to take out the trash isn't enough pressure. Growing Old In A Red Miata I just had another birthday and I'm not particularly happy about it. To me, that's like saying, "I'm another year closer to having my prostate removed! Somebody bake me a cake and let's party!" Gimme A Head With Hair A man's hair are certainly one of his best assets and a matter of pride. For many their loss can cause depression and anxiety that must be taken care of by an expert psychotherapist - or better still by a sports car! Ghosts Of Halloweens Past Times may have changed but the spirit of Halloween continues to live on. Children today have as much as they did in the past - and so do their parents! Getting "Yankee Naked" Nakedness is no longer a word that is self explanatory. There are just so many variations of this word with each having a different meaning that an explanation of the braod categories is necessary. This is just what this article sets out to do! El Nino Made Me Do It! The changing climate certainly does pose a threat to our planet and eco-system. However, it also presents an opportunity for those who need to blame somethine Beanie Babies Anonymous The Beanie Babies syndrome has really caught on with no end in sight. Read on to see some of the effects of this mania and some tips on how to cure it. Armadillo On The Half Shell The origins of the human food menu is certainly a mystery that is yet unsolved. However, it seems that some amendments are certainly being made in these dietary standards today!
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